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I used to have a solid picture in my head of how I would end up as an adult. This image keeps resurfacing, because currently I feel like I'm floundering. I'm not sure if the unsteadiness is a result of being a stranger in a new city, or if I'm just having one of those notorious quarter-life-crises. The constructed vision of my future-self first came to me when I was in middle school. It wasn't just a "this is what I want to be when I grow up" kind of thing, but an actual image of my twenty-something-year old self. I saw myself sitting on the top of my car (don't have one of those), wearing an orange dress (I'm not sure I even own a dress anymore), listening to a musical number (meh), with bright blue hair.
Yeah. None of that is happening up in here.
I also had this secondary image of myself living in New York City with my cat, working as a novelist. I'm not entirely sure where these images came from. I think as a pre-teen I just pictured the coolest person I could, & aimed for that.
While my hair is naturally boring-brown & I'm not living in New York, I am trying to strive for those plans I made long ago. Not visually as much, but more so I'm striving for the intent behind those visual conclusions. I saw having a car as an accomplishment, something very "adult." I like to think that I've got a little bit of that "adultiness" going on in my life right now, what with moving to pursue a career, being in a long-term relationship, & having complete independence. I wanted to be a writer/novelist. While I don't write in my career, I am working in a field (video editing) that pertains to not only my college degree, but also my interests. Between work & blogging, I'm doing what I enjoy. Dying your hair blue means you don't care about what others think of you. This one I struggle with, but the older I get the easier it is to be true to myself & to stand up for myself. The orange dress throws me for a loop. Any insight on that one is appreciated.
TL;DR - I'm panicking about getting older, but it's okay. It's okay because I've got a plan, albeit a rough one. And it's okay because while I'm panicking, I'm not scared. There are so many good things in my life right now. Being an adult is weird/difficult/stressful, but I'm totally going to nail it.
Anyway, happy weekend! Yay Friday, right?
This week's links:
- Why you should totally be eating avocados & a delicious way to drink them
- Or, you know, go the other way completely & make espresso-glazed cinnamon rolls (ohmygoodness yes please)
- The Senate totally Leslie Knope-d it after the D.C. snowstorm
- A look back on a bunch of other influential women who just did not give one
- I can't get over these party-having dinosaurs (+ tutorial!)
- Many sleepless nights come to an end as we discover the reason there's a teeny tiny pocket in your jeans
xoxo,
-m.e.
-m.e.
P.S. Stay warm all winter with a knitted ombre scarf.
Blue and orange are complementary colors, so I think you were just hoping to find someone who complements you! The quarter life crisis is real, but you'll make it through. I'm in my early thirties and still don't have things figured out, but realized everything is a journey.
ReplyDeleteI like your theory about the complimenting factors in life! You're totally right - it's (one hell of) a journey, crises & all. It's nice to hear that I'm not alone in not having it figured out yet!
DeleteBelieve me, the older you get, sometimes the farther off you are from that picture in your head. You may feel that way on the inside though! As I've told my boyfriend, that women can be like a bottle of wine - some continue to grow in flavor as they age, while a few turn into vinegar. I wouldn't have been the same woman, had he met me all those years ago. Now I'm a delicious bouquet! ;)
ReplyDeleteSo many good analogies in this comment thread! Thanks for the encouraging words! :)
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