Step 2 | Celebrate early. Why not get a head start & hit the scene on Friday night? Heck, why wait at all? Thursdays are the new Fridays after all. Make an utter fool of yourself.
Step 3 | Wake up Saturday morning & realize you're not 21 anymore. Drink lots of water.
Step 4 | Go to the festival & see all there is to see. Like this amazing work of art by artist Hot Tea, made up of a million pieces of string.
Step 5 | Go to every animal rescue booth at the festival & pet as many puppies as possible (not pictured as was too busy petting said puppies).
Step 6 | Take lots of selfies on a colorful blanket. Collect free pins (collect free everything - the festival is like swag-city).
Step 7 | Realize you're sweating in places you never thought possible because the park is packed & it's a million degrees outside. Play it cool.
Step 8 | Have a cold treat!
Step 9 | Pray you don't run into anyone you know from work because you look a hot mess.
Step 10 | Have a brief nap. Find your zen place.
Step 11 | Try & find more dogs to pet.
Step 12 | Eat free ice cream & call it a day. Immediately take a shower because you nasty.
Step 13 | Wake up on Sunday & debate whether or not you want to go to the parade. Make the right choice.
Step 14 | Get decorated for the parade (crucial). Also, apply sunscreen to your pasty white skin.
Step 15 | Show up to the parade at a time that you think is early, but upon arrival you realize you're totally not early because all of the well-prepared lesbians look like they've basically camped there overnight.
Step 16 | Find a spot to sit. Make mental notes for next year about waking up earlier.
Step 17 | Realize it's WAY too hot outside. Curse your unpreparedness.
Step 18 | Purchase a cheap umbrella to provide yourself with shade. Revel in your ingenuity.
Step 19 | Start to get excited for the parade!
Step 20 | Come to the conclusion that the best part of the parade is Dykes on Bikes.
Step 21 | Contemplate buying a motorcycle.
Step 22 | Realize how lucky you are to be alive in a time & live in a place with so much support, love, & community.
Step 23 | Go home & take a nap. Start getting excited for next year.
P.S. If you're queer or just like puns, you'll probably like this cross-stitch pattern.